I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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