found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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