absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
