therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
