dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's a Shit stain on my heart
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
