Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
