this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
