How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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