oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
