best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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