In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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