U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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