Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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