PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
