i just google imaged poop.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
