$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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