I heard we made out
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
