Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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