Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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