yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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