So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
