Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your shirt... Was in my pants
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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