If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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