hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
