Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
