it wasn't lemon gatorade
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
