I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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