Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He better not be in your backpack
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
