He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
