i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
