I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize