my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize