I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
