I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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