You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
