doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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