It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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