it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize