just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
