This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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