writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
