Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
