i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Randomize
