I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
