The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
