That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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