Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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