All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
wrigley field is MILF paradise
The best revenge is premature balding
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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