We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
