If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
