Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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