and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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