i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
