i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
