She announced her abortion via fbk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
