Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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