I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
3 2 1 whiskey
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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