Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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