he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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