I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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