Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
