I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
