let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
