it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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